Tis the season.

I absolutely love the holidays. That sense of magic, anticipation and cosiness that seems to fill the air right around the end of November and makes everything around you have a certain, extra twinkle to it.

I even love holiday shopping. And wrapping.

This year, I feel like I have been in a bit of a funk. Maybe it's the fact that the weather isn't very seasonal (I can't believe I'm saying this, but where is the snow?), or in the wake of the Newtown tragedy, it's pretty hard to find joy in humanity right now.

But the biggest reason is the reality that my dad is not here.

Christmas last year was a blur of tears, sleep deprivation and pain. It didn't even feel real. And now, one year later, it is very real.

But it's almost Christmas, and I hate feeling this way. And I have a one year old that I'm super excited to share the festive spirit with. So I am going to spend the next week soaking up every ounce of the holidays there is.

This morning I read T "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" (a family fave) and laid her down for her nap. I cranked some Christmas carols and made a batch of my favourite Christmas cookies (ginger snaps). Tonight, I'm wrapping all those gifts that have been lovingly selected for the people that mean everything to me.

And I found that twinkle again.