Strength.

There are a few shows on TV that I watch fairly religiously, one of which is Grey's Anatomy. I have always had a thing for medical dramas (ER being my all time fave). Medicine and all it entails fascinates me (but not to the point where I could ever pursue medicine as a career... I was never that dedicated of a student!) and so on Thursday nights, for an hour, I pretend.

Tonight's episode had a particularly poignant story line for me. Amongst the fairly predictable devastating traumas and torrid on call room love affairs was a mother who wouldn't take no for an answer.

Her son had been sick for days and this mother just knew it was more than the virus it was being dismissed as. She fought for her kid, and even though she was faced with doctors telling her there was no possible way it was anything other than strep throat she went with her gut. Her maternal instinct told her it was more than that and she trusted it with all her heart. And she was right. It was Kawasaki Disease, a potentially fatal childhood disease.

I know it's only a fictional tv show but this episode really struck a chord with me for a couple reasons;

1. I had Kawasaki Disease as a child
2. Will I be strong enough?

I was 4 when I was diagnosed with Kawasaki Disease. (It is most common in children under 5). When I was diagnosed, Kawasaki Disease was a very rare occurrence in North America. I was very lucky that I lived in a city with one of the best children's hospitals in the world.  And while I don't remember all the details of my hospitalization I do remember the fear. Fear of being in such a scary place and the fear that was palpable from my parents. I can't even imagine what it's like to see your 4 year old in the hospital for an extended period of time, seriously ill. I hope I never do. Just the thought of it breaks my heart.

When T was born, I realized that I owe my mom way more credit than I ever gave her. She is one strong woman.

I think the thing that hit me the hardest when watching the episode is the conviction in which the mother advocated for her son's health. I hope I never have to, but if it comes down to it, will I have that intuition? The strength to fight for what I believe in for the sake of my daughter when all the professionals are shooting me down? Trusting what I know to be true purely based on a 'feeling'?

I like to think I would. Actually I know I would. I feel like with every passing day my maternal instinct is strengthened and validated.

So thank you, Grey's Anatomy & Shonda Rhimes. For providing an hour of entertainment on an otherwise dull night of television. For raising awareness for Kawasaki Disease (more information can be find here) And for demonstrating the power of the maternal instinct.