heart sick...

On Thursday evening, our 5 year old Alaskan Malamute Yukon looked a little uncomfortable. We thought she had an upset tummy so I took her outside for a bit of a walk to see if that would settle her stomach. A half hour later, her discomfort was very evident. She started whimpering, snapping at her stomach and throwing herself on the ground. At this point, we knew it was serious, or at the very least she needed a serious pain killer so I put her in the back of our car and drove 45 minutes to the closest emergency vet clinic since it was now 11pm at night.

It was the longest 45 minutes of my entire life.

She was in hysterical pain. It was all I could do to stay on the road between my tears and making sure she was still alive.

We arrived at the veterinary emergency clinic and she was quickly ushered in for x-rays and pain killers (thank goodness.) Not even 10 minutes later I was given the worst possible news.

She had bloat.

This is a very serious condition in which the dog's stomach twists on itself, causing it to fill with air and press against all the other organs.

And it is also just one of those freak things that can happen to larger breeds.

I was told our only options were emergency surgery. A surgery that is long, with a poor prognosis and a terrible recovery. Or euthanasia. I phoned J and sobbed into the phone what was going on. He jumped in the truck and made the trek to the clinic. In the meantime, I insisted they give her more pain killers, she was still in so much pain.

While we waited for J, I sat on the floor of the clinic with her, cradling her head and trying to calm her down. Her golden brown eyes were so panicked. I just kept stroking her forehead, begging for everything to be ok.

But once J arrived, we knew what had to be done.

It is the worst decision we have ever had to make.

And so, in the very early hours of Friday morning, J and I said a very tearful goodbye to our beloved Yukon. She left us far too early and it is so unfair. She was our first 'baby' and we will miss her deeply. Thank you, Yukon, for teaching us how to love something other than each other. There is a very large hole in our hearts and in our house without you. I hope wherever you are there are endless hayfields to run in and snow banks to play in. 

RIP sweet girl. We miss you terribly.