Liebster Award

I was nominated for this award by Katrina over at capturing moments, thank you so much!

Liebster is a German word that is used for sweet, dear, nice, good. Liebster Award is a way to connect bloggers to each other, a way to honour bloggers with less than 200 followers.

Like every award, there are certain rules… And they are:

1. List 11 random facts about yourself
2. Answer the 11 questions which are given to you by your nominator
3. Ask 11 new questions for all the bloggers that you nominate to win the award
4. Nominate 9 bloggers with less than 200 followers to win the award
5. Go to each of the blogger’s pages to let them know about their nomination
6. Thank the blogger who nominated you by mentioning them and link back to their blog

So here we go...

11 Random facts about myself

1. I hate my toes. I have super small baby toes, and my second toes are longer than my big toe. They are all around freaky looking. I also have ridiculously large feet. 
2. It took me 7 years and 3 countries to complete my Undergrad degree. I blame this on wanderlust and indecisiveness. (I ended up graduating 3 days before my wedding.)
3. I was hospitalized on and off for Anorexia throughout my teenage years. (I do plan on writing a post on this, it is something I am not necessarily proud of, but I am pretty darn proud of my recovery.) 
4. I have never had stitches (I totally just jinxed myself.)
5. Spending 10 minutes with my horse is like spending an hour with a high priced therapist for me. 
6. I'm weird about feet (potentially ties in with #1.) I can't stand pedicures, and I absolutely freak if anybody else's feet touch me. 
7. My husband was my first real boyfriend.
8. I have the worst sweet tooth. My dentist loves it. My skin (and waistline) hate it.
9. I cannot WAIT to take T to Disney World. (However, it is expensive enough that a) I want her to remember it and b) no stroller.)
10. I wish I was more fashionable. 
11. My two front teeth are fake (well the bottom half of them are). There was unfortunate incident involving a mischievious younger brother and a hard wood floor. Its cool - I still love him. 

My answers to the questions I was asked

1. Where is the best place you've travelled?
New Zealand, hands down. 
2. Your favourite thing to cook?
Any type of pasta dish, mostly because I know I will thoroughly enjoy eating it. And baking; cookies, brownies etc (see #8 above.)
3. What is your most treasured possession?
This is a tough one. I would say anything that reminds me of my Dad these days. I have a couple bags and satchels that he gave me because he had no use for them anymore right before he died. They have his initials engraved on them and at least once a day I find myself tracing over the "DJS" with my fingers. 
4. What makes you laugh?
Lately, my kid. She is hilarious! Also, the show "Modern Family". Can't even handle all the hilariousness. (Is that even a word?!)
5. What is the craziest thing you have ever done?
I moved to New Zealand back in 2006 after finding a job posting for a horse farm online and thinking it sounded like fun. So I packed a giant duffel bag and boarded a plane (or 2) for the other side of the world. It was a huge gamble but totally worth it... I had the best time. 
6. The best book you have ever read? 
"She's Come Undone" by Wally Lamb has always resonated with me. 
7. Best piece of relationship advice?
Don't sweat the small stuff. Communicate. 
8. What is something your scared of?
My child experiencing pain... physical or emotional. Also, losing someone close to me. After losing one of my best friends and my Dad within a year and a half I am so scared to experience that again. 
9. What are two things you would change about yourself?
I want to live more in the present and spend less time panicking about whats to come and what has already happened. I also wish I was more confident in myself. 
10. What do you do for 'me time' in your 'spare time'?
Umm what are you talking about? Haha kidding, I do have a wonderful husband who is great with T which allows for some 'me time' from time to time. I guess I normally go and hang out with my horse, and hopefully when the weather warms up, I'll get back to riding. 
11. Describe yourself in 3 words.
People pleaser, procrastinator, tired. (I cheated, thats 4 words.)

11 Questions for my nominees:

1. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
2. If you could eat one meal every day for the rest of your life, what would it be?
3. Dog person or cat person? (Or neither) Why?
4. What has been your bravest moment thus far?
5. Do you have a phobia? If so, what is it?
6. What is your favourite movie of all time?
7. Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall?
8. The one song that will never get old?
9.  Favourite article of clothing?
10. What are 3 things your are looking forward to?
11. What is your dream job?

My nominees (Be sure to check out their blogs - their pretty great! Also I apologize if you have more than 200 followers, if I couldn't figure out how many followers you had but to me you still exemplified what the award is all about, your on the list!)
1. e squared 
2. little sleep
3. iSophie
4. Muddy Farmwife
5. Circle of Pine Trees 
6. growing a foosa
7. To The Sea (this one I'm for sure cheating on as she has way more than 200 followers but I just love this blog!)
8. The Accidental Wallflower 
9. Standpipe and Sprinkles (again, a bit of a cheat but this blog is just too cute. The "Friday's Letters" posts never fail to make me giggle.) 

So there we go! Obviously there is no pressure to participate but its kinda fun to pass on the love to those blogs that always put a smile on your face. 

Sassy Pants. 

Strength.

There are a few shows on TV that I watch fairly religiously, one of which is Grey's Anatomy. I have always had a thing for medical dramas (ER being my all time fave). Medicine and all it entails fascinates me (but not to the point where I could ever pursue medicine as a career... I was never that dedicated of a student!) and so on Thursday nights, for an hour, I pretend.

Tonight's episode had a particularly poignant story line for me. Amongst the fairly predictable devastating traumas and torrid on call room love affairs was a mother who wouldn't take no for an answer.

Her son had been sick for days and this mother just knew it was more than the virus it was being dismissed as. She fought for her kid, and even though she was faced with doctors telling her there was no possible way it was anything other than strep throat she went with her gut. Her maternal instinct told her it was more than that and she trusted it with all her heart. And she was right. It was Kawasaki Disease, a potentially fatal childhood disease.

I know it's only a fictional tv show but this episode really struck a chord with me for a couple reasons;

1. I had Kawasaki Disease as a child
2. Will I be strong enough?

I was 4 when I was diagnosed with Kawasaki Disease. (It is most common in children under 5). When I was diagnosed, Kawasaki Disease was a very rare occurrence in North America. I was very lucky that I lived in a city with one of the best children's hospitals in the world.  And while I don't remember all the details of my hospitalization I do remember the fear. Fear of being in such a scary place and the fear that was palpable from my parents. I can't even imagine what it's like to see your 4 year old in the hospital for an extended period of time, seriously ill. I hope I never do. Just the thought of it breaks my heart.

When T was born, I realized that I owe my mom way more credit than I ever gave her. She is one strong woman.

I think the thing that hit me the hardest when watching the episode is the conviction in which the mother advocated for her son's health. I hope I never have to, but if it comes down to it, will I have that intuition? The strength to fight for what I believe in for the sake of my daughter when all the professionals are shooting me down? Trusting what I know to be true purely based on a 'feeling'?

I like to think I would. Actually I know I would. I feel like with every passing day my maternal instinct is strengthened and validated.

So thank you, Grey's Anatomy & Shonda Rhimes. For providing an hour of entertainment on an otherwise dull night of television. For raising awareness for Kawasaki Disease (more information can be find here) And for demonstrating the power of the maternal instinct.

What they don't tell you.

Maybe this isn't such a shock to every new mom. Or maybe I skipped this part in "What to Expect". But the moment T was born I was overwhelmed by 2 emotions;

a) everything I thought I knew about loving someone was obliterated the moment they placed her in my arms for the first time.

b) fear. 

All of sudden, my husband and I became totally responsible for this teeny, tiny person. Physically, mentally, emotionally, she was a blank slate and J and I were the ones entrusted with the massive responsibility of lighting the way for her future. 

That's HUGE. 

And I know I had 39 weeks to prepare for this. Heck, I had time before we even conceived to contemplate the ramifications of bringing a new life into this world but it's just something I couldn't even comprehend until I became a mother... and to be perfectly honest, and this probably sounds cocky, it wasn't even on my radar. I am not a fearful person. I was SO excited to meet my daughter and while I knew it would be overwhelming, I knew J and I would muddle through. We had each other, and we are pretty good pair. 

But that first night in the hospital with my baby girl, I didn't sleep. At all. I was EXHAUSTED. But my brain was in overdrive. Full of "What ifs". SIDS, choking, childhood diseases, allergies, car accidents, drowning... you name it, I had a minor panic attack about it that first night. T slept, well, like a baby and I couldn't stop staring at her. Overwhelmed by the love I felt for her and the unmeasurable need to protect her. 

I had never felt anything like it before.

I don't know if I ever expressed these fearful moments to anyone before, even to J. I know they are probably par for the course, especially for a first time mom. And as we found our groove as a little family of 3 not only did I find my own parenting style, but I calmed down. Don't get me wrong, its still terrifying as all heck to be a parent. And the fears I have are very real, and totally justified. But I know each and every moment of each and every day I love and protect her with everything that I am, and more. And if that's not enough, then I don't know what is. 

How I Roll.

When I was pregnant, I avidly read every book, magazine and blog I could get my hands on about pregnancy, birth and beyond. It was like an addiction. An overwhelming addiction. And beyond learning what fruit size my baby was at each week of pregnancy (there is something a little bit weird about comparing your growing fetus to a cantaloupe), I can't honestly remember anything I read.

There are so many parenting styles and philosophy's out there. So many choices to make as a new parent. Co- sleeping, breast feeding, baby wearing, baby led weaning, sleep training... and the list goes on, and on and ON. There are even choices to make about the whole birth process; natural or epidural, OB or midwife, hospital, birthing center or at home... It's absolutely terrifying.  And as a first time parent, I didn't want to make the wrong choice. Heaven forbid I choose purees over baby led weaning and screw her chances to get into a good university right?!

 

But in all honesty, this post isn't about whether than one is better than the other. I have no interest in debating any of that... your baby, your choice. But I did want to share a little about how I roll as a parent. And while I am a relative rookie in this whole adventure that is parenting, so far so good ( I think...)

I guess my style could best be described as "go with the flow". When T was teeny tiny, we let her dictate when she ate and slept. I did breastfeed (I am an advocate of feeding your baby, whether it be formula or breastfeeding. I was lucky that I was able to breastfeed successfully for 9 months but I know its not that easy for everyone... the first 2 weeks were REALLY hard). I tried to "wear" her in a Beco carrier but in all honesty, she wasn't the biggest fan (I loved the carrier, she just didn't like being that close to me). I started feeding her solids around 6 months and I did start her on cereal and purees, but she's such an independent little thing, we moved pretty quickly on to finger foods. We never co-slept. She moves way too much in her sleep for either of us to be comfortable. And I did sleep train her around 7 months. We used The Baby Sleep Solution and it worked really well for us.

For the first year of her life, I let my daughter lead the way.  And she taught me everything I needed to know about parenting that first year.

Looking towards the future, I hope I can maintain a relaxed attitude towards parenting. I know that toddlers are challenging,  3 year olds are down right terrifying and I don't even want to think about the teenage years. And while I will continue to go with the flow, there are a few things that's I feel it's my duty to instill in her as a parent.

1. Respect - for her family, her elders, her classmates and friends, the environment and the farm animals that are our livelihood. Most importantly, respect for herself.

2. Ambition - for whatever she chooses in life. May it be school work, a hobby, farming or her career. Whatever direction she chooses in life, I hope she lives it passionately and with ambition.

3. Love and Laughter - Recently, T and I were hanging out with my Mom and sister. While watching my Mom and T play and giggle together, my sister said "we were raised with a lot of laughter". This has resonated with me ever since. Its true. We were raised in a household full of love and laughter and I only hope I can do the same.

Raising a farm kid presents a whole new set of challenges, and opportunities. I am totally cool with my kid getting dirty. Heck, she already does! I know the farm allows for all sorts of exploration and learning opportunities. And with these opportunities comes challenges. She will need to learn that while cows are docile and sweet animals, they are animals. And animals are unpredictable. She will need to learn that tractors are not toys, and the manure pit is never a place she should be. But above all, I hope she learns how lucky she is to have a dairy farm in her backyard.

So Miss T, thanks for teaching me more than I could ever learn from a book over the last 13+ months.

Fingers crossed we can muddle through toddlerhood with relative success!

One of those weeks. Or two.

The last couple weeks have been rough, physically. It started with a raging flu last Monday night. Honestly the sickest I have ever been. After 8 hours of not being able to keep anything down and a fainting episode in the bathroom, I ended up in the ER in the middle of the night for IV fluids. Luckily, Miss T didn't get it and J had a milder form so after a couple days we were in tip top shape... At least for a few days.

This past Tuesday my chest really started hurting, and I started having trouble breathing. Luckily T's Nana (J's mom) was able to take her and back I went to the ER. A chest x ray, a bunch of inhalers and oral steroids later, I feel better than I have in ages!

This morning during breakfast T broke out into hives, all over her face and chest. It was kinda scary. I ended up back at the ER with her but after a couple hours of waiting the hives had completely dissipated and she was getting pretty sick of being there so I made the executive decision to leave after consulting with the triage nurse. She is completely back to normal so who knows what happened.

And to top it all off, T flipped over one of her toys when we got home and gave herself a bloody nose.

Sad monkey.

Pity party for one here please. (Or two, I'm pretty sure T would join me at this point)

A picture is worth a 1000 words.

A couple weeks ago, a very dear and talented friend of mine made the trek out to the farm to capture some pictures of T and our little family, one year later (almost).

They are magic.

Bronwyn Coombs is a genius. And I will cherish these images forever.

These are the essence of us. Thank you, Bronwyn, for capturing it so beautifully. 

Us.

Some proper introductions. This is us! (and in an attempt to maintain a teensy bit of privacy I will be using initials. Yet Im posting pics. So ya, I guess thats a bit hypocritical!) 

Anyhoooo….

I’m C. 26 year old (almost 27… 27 sounds way older than 26 in my opinion!) mama to 1 beautiful baby girl and wife to J. I grew up in a large city (one of the largest in Canada!) until I decided to attend University in a small town about 45 minutes away and study agriculture (weird choice, maybe. But the best one I have ever made). I rode horses growing up and LOVE animals and the country so I figured this was the best of both worlds (and as an added bonus, those agriculture students know how to have a good time). This is where I met J.

J had long since graduated from the same university but had come back to the local country bar for one fateful night of partying in the spring of 2008. We met, we talked, we danced, and shortly after that we started dating. Within a year we were engaged and on June 19, 2010, we were married on the farm!

       

(David Goodfellow Photography) 

J (along with his family) are dairy farmers and own a lovely farm about 2 hours from the big city where I grew up. We milk approximately 65 cows and have 200 head on the property. It was a bit of a culture shock but 4 years on, I can honestly say I absolutely love the country life. 

We were bit hard by the baby bug in early 2011 and were thrilled to learn we would be expecting a baby in early December, 2011. On November 30th, 2011, we welcomed our beautiful daughter, T. (More on her birth story later). She has exploded our hearts and made everything we had so much better. 

          

(Bronwyn Coombs Photography)

We also have two giant, hairy Alaskan Malamutes that are a huge part of our family. Yukon is a 4 year old black and white female and Kodiak is a 2 year old red and white male. Yukon is the sweetest mother bear of a dog and Kodiak is the goofiest animal I know. They complete us. (Even if it does mean I have to vacuum every. single. day.)